Category: Joke of the Day

Breakables when moving

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her
brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?"
asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.


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Ponderables

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Getting old

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. (click Read More)

Hard Worker

Little Johnny and the Baby

--- Out of the mouths of babes!

Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Fireworks Display

10. What you call a fireworks display, the police call arson

9. Best part was when the bug zapper fell in the pool

8. Only celebrity they could get is the Geico lizard

7. Al Gore shuts it down because of atmosphere-warming sulfure emissions

6. It starts at noon

5. It's just a couple of guys yelling, "Ka-Boom!"

4. Finale of show: A stick of dynamite blows up your car

3. Fireworks form a colorful image of CNN personality Larry King

2. You're handed a program and a business card of several peronal injury attorneys

1. When you complain that it's over after an underwhelming two minutes, your wife says, "Tell me about it"

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint

The Blonde Joke

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?" (click read More)

Leaning at 100 years old

Rectum Stretcher

T.G.I.F. vs S.H.I.T

THE COMPUTER'S SWALLOWED GRANDMA

Things To Say To 'Special' Co-Workers

Jungle Talk

An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a naked man in a clearing, drying himself off, having just exited a river.

The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says, "How the heck do ya feed yourself with that?"

God Takes Inventory