Rectum Stretcher

While she was flying down the road (20 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that "classic patronizing smirk" we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

She replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about six feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. To which she politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." --

Traffic Ticket: $95.00
Court Costs: $45.00
The look on the cop's face: PRICELESS