Category: Joke of the Day

Correct use of the "F" word

When is @#$% Acceptable? There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows:

English responses vs Hebronics (Yiddish)

Hebronics
Example: Ma, throw me out the window, a pickle!

The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture.

Crazy Work

I decided that I needed a few days off and I realized that I ran out of vacationtime already. I figured the best way to get the Boss to send me home was to act a little crazy. I figured he'd think I was burning out and give me some time off.

I came in to work early the other day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling. Just then one of my coworkers (she's blonde..it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I'm doing.

"Shh," I said, "I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb."

A second later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.

"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.

"You're going crazy," he said. "Take a few days off."

With that, I jumped down and started walking out. My coworker started following me and the Boss asked where she was going.

"I can't work in the dark," she said.

How To Please Your I.T. Department

Goldfish Burial

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor
peered over the fence.

Interested in what the youngster was up to, he asked in his
friendliest way, "What are you up to, Nancy?" (click read more)

The Microsoft Car

For The Love Of Lawyers!

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? (click read more)

The Hotel Bill

(Click read more)

Those Four Letter Words

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.  When they got back,
the bride immediately called her mother.  Her mother asked, "How was the
honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful!  So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying.  "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before!  I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!  You've got to come get me and take me home....  Please mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down!  Tell me, what could be so awful?  What 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful!  Come get me, please!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.  Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!" 

Cat Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to Heaven. There he meets the Lord himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." (click read more)

Truth in Taxes

What Tax Problem?

Irish Last Request

Is he Irish?

A little boy was asked by his his third grade teacher to spell "straight." He did so correctly.

"Now," said the teacher, "what does it mean?"

"Without water," he replied.

Irish Cemetery