Top Ten Valentines Day Cards rejected by Hallmark...

• I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
  But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
   


• Our love will never become cold and hollow
  Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
   


• I bought this Valentine's card at the store
  In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
   


• This feels good, it feels so right
  I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
   


• You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
  Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round ass!
   


• Before I met you, my heart was so famished
  But now I'm fulfilled...SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!
   


• Through all the things that came to pass
  Our love has grown...but so's your ass!
   


• You're a honey....and you're a cutie
  I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
   


• I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
  So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
   


• If you think that hickey looks like a blister
  You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!