Relationship Statistics

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does

A woman has the last word in any argument
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

Old uncles used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling telling me, "Your're next." they stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals