Your Dogs New Years Resolutions

• I will not play tug-of-war with Daddy's underwear when he's on the can.


• I will remember the garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.


• I will not suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.


• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.


• I will shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.


• I will not eat the cat's food, before, or after, he eats it.


• I will stop trying to find new places on the carpet when I am about to throw up.


• I will not throw up in the car.


• I will not roll on dead things.


• I will stop considering the cat's litter box as a cookie jar.


• I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.


• I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.


• I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think that I am hemorrhaging.


• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.


• I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of anyone who is sitting on the can.


• We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I hear one on the television


• I will not steal my Mommy's underwear out of the laundry basket and then dance all over the back yard with them


• I will remember the sofa is not a face towel and neither are Mommy's & Daddy's laps


• I will remember my head does not belong in the refrigerator


• I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mommy's driver's license and car registration.