Clocks in Heaven
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at The Pearl Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Everytime you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh!" said the man, "whose click is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indication that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man, "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That;s Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's George Bush's click?" asked the man.
"Bush's click is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."