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Joke of the Day: Wednesday's Joke: Martha or Maxine

Posted by: ladymindyonWednesday, August 25, 2004 - 05:00 AM Print article

Martha or Maxine

Martha's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Maxine's Way Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! (click to read more)

Martha's Way To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.	Maxine's Way Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's Way When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.	Maxine's Way Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's Way If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".	Maxine's Way If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"
Martha's Way Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.	Maxine's Way Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha's Way Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.	Maxine's Way The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.
Martha's Way Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.	Maxine's Way Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!
Martha's Way If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.	Maxine's Way Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha's Way Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.	Maxine's Way Leftover wine???????? HEL-LO!!!!!

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Joke of the Day: Wednesday's Joke: Martha or Maxine

Martha or Maxine

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